My Strange Job Interview With Some of the Characters at the Wedding Chapel.

As I stared at the old application form and signed in at the front desk. Little did I know I was going into a bee hive of characters.  A treasure trove for an actor.

I could hear music …. a guitar. Someone was playing a Elvis tune “Heartbreak Hotel” in the back. As I sat in the room and waited to be interviewed the chapel smelled musty and the fake flowers looked tatter like it had seen better days. They were not even real and looked dead.  Some people were tapping their feet while the music played.  Elvis is big here.  Each person was called in by a lady who looked like Dolly Parton and yes she had the boobs.  She had a lot of makeup, big hair with some sass.  She gave me the once over each time.  I just stared at her with amazement.  Finally it was my turn.  She said Catherine Nateee.  I didn’t want to correct her for fear she would kick me in the butt out the door.   So, I just got up and said that’s me.  Please to meet you.

She just looked at me and said  “You talk funny. The boss is in the back. My name is Nomi. Come with me.”  As I walked to the back I saw a old record player and finally I saw the King “Elvis”.  He looked half baked, older, with the long Elvis sideburns, black dye hair, he looked bored  like he was waiting for his wife get out of the bathroom. Only thing was he was waiting for a couple to come in to get hitched.   No one came in and not even the phone rang when I was there.   I guess it was slow that day.  As I walked to the back I could see the chapel room, it  looked real gaudy with Christmas lights from one side of the room to the other and these big statues of cupid dolls.  Dolly Parton introduces me to the Boss Dottie.  I sat in this small dark cluttered room.  Dottie was a small plain women who just looked at my application and said you have horrible handwriting.   I said I know. People always say I should be a doctor.  I just laugh… but no one laugh with me.

Me being the New Yorker I took a chance. Look.. I said. You have seen a lot of people.  I am your Wedding Consultant.   When can I start?  Dottie the Boss finally looks at me.   I like you. You got guts.  You need that to Sell. Image  Dottie proclaimed.  You are hired.  Let me give you some rules around here first.  You never curse, have liquor on your breath and dress not like a hooker.  I gave Nomi another once over on that comment.  I will pay you nine dollars an hour + commission.  Great I said.  You start tomorrow.  Nomi will teach you.  Right Nomi? You got it Dottie!  Wait until you meet Gus the other Wedding Consultant. As Nomi left the room.     Elvis made his entrance into the room.  Welcome.  I am Preacher Jeb Evans the only Preacher in town that can married people and be Elvis too.  He started singing to me as Elvis.  I felt as if the room was beginning to close in on me.  As I left the Chapel I felt thankful that I got a job.  Not much money but something.     Little did I know that the next five months I would race home and go on my computer with stories about what happened that day.  Because real life was better than fiction.  There were times that I felt as if I was in a TV show.   But where were the cameras?  They must be hidden somewhere.  Or someone is playing a game on me.  Not.


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